Going Private still but...

I am still going private but I am just waiting a while so that I make sure everyone lets me know their email addresses... I think the end of January first of February I'll switch over.

Until then, if you haven't left me your email address, please do so.

I haven't been journaling on my blog because of misunderstandings from certain people. When I blog, I don't know how to be any other way then me. Some people have filters in their lives, I don't. I am not sure why I don't but... I just don't. There are things that I keep private like details about my husband and our relationship and my in law relations and all that. I do know my boundaries when it comes to other people. When it comes to me and talking about my personal struggles, I have no filter. I am who I am and I don't know how to be different.

I will have to go into more detail when I am privately blogging to those I trust and those who know me. I asked 4 of my friends that I would give me honest answers. Three of these friends didn't misunderstand any of my writing but one of my friends that I asked did tell me that some things I write make her worried that people won't understand me. I look back at my blog and I STILL don't know what is wrong with my writing. That is the crazy thing. I am not going to lose sleep over it but I also don't want to have people misunderstanding me. It isn't that I care what people think but there may be a few people (I won't tell you who cuz that would be putting out too much personal information and I wouldn't want that now would I?) that may be uncomfortable with everyone knowing how I feel. So here's to my last embarrassing month of posts to the ones who don't want anyone to know that I am not perfect. ha ha ha

(I am not depressed or suicidal for all you who think I am. I love my family and children more than anything in the world. I know that I can live a better life but I have a struggle with putting myself first. I am always thinking of everyone else. I am like many mothers on this earth. I have struggles like everyone else. I just chose to talk about them and not hold them in.)

So, it is a new year. I looked back at my new years goal for 2008 and I was happy to say I accomplished 50% of the goals. I was pretty happy with that. The one I didn't too well with was getting healthy and making dinner 4 times a week. Althought my husband did mention that my dinners did increase over the last year so that is good!!!

Here are my goals for 2009:

Get healthy -FO REALS YO! I'm going to set a goal to lose atleast 50 pounds this year. Maybe that is more realistic than 100?? That is 1 pound a week - 4.3 per month.

Be better at FHE and Scripture Study and Family Prayers. I'll show some improvement this year. It is hard to be the leader but it is IMPORTANT!

Stop complaining about my weight and start doing something about it this includes being more positive too. This is do - able.

Shave my legs more- he he he, You think I'm kidding don't ya????? lol

So, four goals a year seem to be reachable. I think I can get 50% or higher this year right? I'll try for 100% BUT I am only human. This has been a good post. PHEW!! I needed that. I started this post kinda discouraged and ended all excited. hmmmm.