Another pose....
I thought this picture was cute. It is at Main Street park. They have beautiful flowers.
I can't believe I am posting this picture but then.......what the heck. I'll give you all a good laugh. It is worth it.
So, I just maybe needed to see these pictures of me because I just don't realize how bad it is. I don't know how many of you can relate to me but how did I get here and what can I do to get back. I never knew that I would struggle with my weight like I have. I didn't grow up as a overweight person. I started to gain when I started dating Jason. I have been overweight for 12 years. My 12 year wedding anniversary is coming up in 1 week. How sad for my husband to have to look at this everyday for the past 12 years. I used to be fun, energetic, outgoing, spiritual, strong, I knew who I was..... I was at church today thinking about where I am and what I have given up. I miss performing and being spiritual and being strong. I feel alone in many things spiritually. Things in my life are not what I thought they would be. I don't regret anything I have been through because I believe that trials make us stronger. But if I can't take this weight off and get back to who I am... I failed the test right? I need to overcome what is eating at me. Am I just lazy or what? Why am I accepting this? Everyday I accept this and keep eating.... Why? It just doesn't make any sense to me.
I have decided to try the early morning workout again. 5 am this week. I'll post and let you know how I do. I just need to do it long enough so I am use to it. I am not a early morning person but that can change. I really want to lose as much as I can before the Mesquite getaway with my friends. Is it possible to lose 100 pounds in 6 weeks????????? 
This is the Aleisha I miss.................... so what if I was 14. ha ha ha
6 comments:
First of all, you are still fun, energetic, lovable, etc. I think you are being a bit too hard on yourself! I know what you mean about seeig a picture of yourself though. I think that is what sparked the desire in myself. I looked at a pic. of my sis. and I and my face looked HUGE (it was just a head shot by the way) and I thought...that is not me. I want to get back to the way I remeber ME. I was at my heaviest when I got pregnant with Jaden, so I (luckily) got rid of the baby weight and am now working on the wedding weight! The problem is, THE WORLD!! There are too many expectations on women these days. We just can't be too hard on ourselves. Are you going to the gym with anyone? I know it helps if you have accountabilty in meeting someone there. I love that you are this honest!
I have been shocked way too many times by my own "fat" pictures. It is a good, although SCARY wake up call for me, too! There is so much more to us than those extra pounds, though. We need to celebrate the good stuff, and work on our challenges. :)
What works for every person is sooo different, but my magic formula for losing 30 lbs (Before I got pregnant and gained it right back) was Slim Mints when I wanted to mindlessly eat, low-cal hot cocoa with skim milk when I needed to feel mellow (I would drink a couple cups a day!), and lots of salads for lunch (with tons of veggies, hard boiled eggs, cheese, sunflowers seeds - I still love them!)
Be happy on the journey, don't rush to the finish line, and pray to the end!
Oh yah - I forgot to mention exercise and patience. It took a year for it to come off, and I was walking on the treadmill every morning at 5:30 a.m.! Whew. I'm looking forward to getting fit again!
I agree, you are too hard on yourself. I look at you and your ability to take life as it comes and I admire you tremendously! Last month after bunco when you said you guys were moving again...I was so impressed with how you seem to take financil trials instride! You are much stronger and more spiritual than you think - you are an example to all of us!! And weight is way over rated - judge yourself on how you feel not what the scale says. :-)
Aleisha, thanks so much for this post!! I am so totally there with you. I always can't believe it's me when I see pictures....it's amazing how oblivious we can be to ourselves. I have started to go the gym at 5:30 for the past month and have been loving it....my problem is portion control and snacking!! I love food way too much. This past week I have started to slack off on getting up to go the gym in the am and reading your post is now motivating me to keep going with it...and doing the portion control as well.
I too want to get back to the old me for our trip to Mesquite!! (So excited for that trip.) Another thing that really motivates me is so that I can be in pictures with my kids and family and not be ashamed or worried about how big I will look in those pictures!!
So, thank you for sharing this post with me. Luvs!
I can so relate. My advice to you is find a workout partner who is dedicated. I guarantee that there is someone out there looking for a partner too. All I know is that it is the only way I can guarantee to get my workouts in.
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